YOUR jokes - or puns or even riddles

[Arzamas]

I've gotten into the semi-weekly habit of coming up with small jokes or puns. Sometimes the idea behind the joke is funnier than the telling itself. Sometimes, the telling makes the joke.

Here are a few I've come up with:

Why do whales have trouble on their first dates?

Because they always get food stuck between their teeth

What do you call a zombie attack at a roller skating rink?

Meals on wheels

What sort of puns do you buy at a farmer's market?

Locally groan


Anyone else want to share?

[Arzamas]

Nobody else has any jokes? I know Mogo is/was our punmaster until he was replaced by The Joking Computuer and I know it isn't always easy to come up with something amusing, but I figure 11th hour would have at least a few comedian types with an inventive brain.

[quu]

i just need to think of some.... so far my humor has been the train wreck type...

A friend who works for a smallish/medium company sent me this
This morning at 8 AM the exchange (e-mail) server went down...
IT fixed the servers around 10 PM, and we all got our e-mails that had queued up.
An e-mail, dated at 8:15 AM, from the manager of IT support was in that queue, it stated that the exchange server was down, and that if there were any problems to e-mail him.

[Arzamas]

Did I ever tell you about my friend in Quack, Michigan? Apparently they are quite big into ducks, with an annual duck fair, a duck race and even honorary police ducks. Well, one year my friend decided he wanted to enter a duck in the race, so he went out to the lake and found a real tame one with a great deal of energy. He didn’t know it at the time but apparently it was one of the police ducks. After his duck won the race, an officer came up and slapped handcuffs on him. My friend protested “But why, officer, I haven’t done anything wrong” “Sir,” said the officer, “you are under arrest for running a fowl of the law”